Vaginal dryness, loss of libido, fatigue…: menopausal women wallow in a deafening silence as their health deteriorates. To lift the taboo, PleineVie.fr asked the most frequently asked questions to Céline Vendé, sexologist-therapist.
Sleep problems, weight gain, low libido… the symptoms of menopause are varied and can be difficult to deal with. Between complex, shame and taboo, women do not always know where to go to talk about these concerns, which can cause tensions within the couple. However, menopause is a period of life synonymous with changes, both physical and hormonal. It is a necessary step for half the world’s population.
Nearly 28% of women over 50 say they are dissatisfied with their representation in society, according to an Ifop survey for Humasana. Talking about menopause is therefore necessary.
The writing of PleineVie.fr efforts to free speech around this vital health topic. We spoke in detail with Céline Vendé, sexologist-therapist based in Bordeaux. She answered the questions women most often ask about menopause and sexuality.
What are the consequences of menopause for women’s sexuality?
Celine Vende: Menopause can have a direct impact on sexuality, as women will have a loss of libido or experience vaginal dryness. In this specific case we will give general advice if there are no other pathologies. The origin of the complaints can be discussed with the gynecologist or general practitioner, but many women do not dare to raise the subject with these specialists.
How do you make a menopausal woman want to make love?
Contrary to what one might believe, menopause does not mark the end of a woman’s sexual life. Some will experience a recovery of libido and will be very demanding, even more so than their partner! This is due to the end of the menstrual cycle: postmenopausal women are unlikely to become pregnant. There is a form of liberation of the body.
For a menopausal woman to regain the desire to make love, we must above all give her self-confidence and ensure that she feels comfortable in her body. Symptoms of menopause can be very uncomfortable and hinder desire. We need to improve the effects of menopause and work on this relationship with the body, for example through a better lifestyle, so that a desire for sexuality arises.
To prove to you that there is no age to find yourself sexually, I received a couple of 72 and 73 years old, who have been in love for more than 40 years. They came to consult me because of vaginal pain during penetration. It was the lady’s physiotherapist who gave them my contact. After several sessions, they learned to listen to each other and changed their way of making love, even beyond penetration. I recommended the book to them Enjoyment club by Jüne Plå. They had a lot of fun and succeeded in lifting taboos. All their efforts have contributed to improving their erotic life. They discovered a new way to express their love. You should not hesitate to come together to discuss, be curious and open to new practices.
Can we have painful intercourse during menopause?
Yes, it is possible for intercourse to be painful during menopause. And if we’re not comfortable with our vulva or vagina, we don’t want to have fun with it! To avoid painful intercourse, be careful to lubricate the mucous membrane. This generally requires good hydration.
If you have pain in the mucous membrane, you should make an appointment with a doctor, obstetrician or gynecologist. You will be prescribed a local treatment based on estrogen. If you experience vaginal itching or dryness outside of intercourse, these are signs of a lack of lubrication.
Painful penetration can be explained by a retraction of the vaginal wall, which is caused by a lack of flexibility, as less estrogen is secreted during menopause. It can be maintained by filling the vaginal cavity with geisha balls, a dilator or a Yoni egg. Don’t forget to check that you don’t suffer from vaginal atrophy, which can also cause pain during painful penetration.
How to lubricate a woman in menopause?
A postmenopausal woman suffering from a lack of hydration and lubrication should drink plenty of water. We can prescribe nutritional supplements based on omega 3, but also a moisturizer based on hyaluronic acid and vitamin E, natural components that the body produces less during menopause. A hormone treatment can also help women regain a lubricated mucous membrane.
Vaginal discomfort, vaginal dryness…: are there treatments?
There are low-risk treatments to combat vaginal discomfort and dryness, such as creams or egg collection. They will allow menopausal women to regain comfort and flexibility in the vulvar mucosa, which may be weakened.